Infidelity is all to common. 50% of men and women cheat on their spouses. Infidelity can be exciting and seductive. It can give the adulterer new meaning, and feelings of rejuvenation and joy. Especially after years of marriage. We have to be realistic, the spark will die! If you let it!
This same act can allow the person betrayed to feel lost, and violated. Often times, infidelity will lead to divorce if the two individuals come to the conclusion that the act is irreparable. When it happens it raises painful questions, should you go? Should you stay? Can the relationship be rebuilt? Can and should you forgive?
Now the first question I would like to bring up is, is monogamy truly natural? I mean, if its happening all to often, there has to be some sort of biological excuse to why humans can't stay faithful to one partner right?
90 % of Americans think cheating is morally wrong, 70 percent have thought of doing it and 50 percent have actually done it.
So we have to understand the evolution of the human species. Biologist have confirmed that monogamy has never been natural for the human species. However, that doesn’t make it impossible or even desirable for some.
We as humans carry the biological imprint of polygamy, which is the opposite of lifelong fidelity to one mate, just as many other living species do. The western culture has advocated monogamy for centuries, which goes against our animalistic predilection for multiple partners. While in the U.S monogamy holds normal, it isn't quite that way in the rest of the world. Starting with the Animal Kingdom, where monogamy is extremely rare. There are many societies and communities across parts of Africa, South America, and East Asia that opt out of monogamy, and practice alternatives such as polyandry, polyamory, and open relationships. Society has ingrained monogamy into us overtime. We are highly influenced by society, religion, and cultural norms. Many philosophers and believe that monogamy has been socially imposed and thus new to our evolutionary experience.
Now we can think about a man, men have thousands of sperm that they have to be released on a daily basis, if they aren’t having sex with their wives they are either having sex with their hand or another individual due to the urgency of getting that nut out. According to Christopher Ryan, Ph.D, humans have sex hundreds of times for every baby conceived, as opposed to other animals that have a ratio closer to 12 to one. He says, "we have sex when the female isn't even ovulation, or with no female even involved!" Basically, we have sex for reasons other than procreation, and the human desire to experiment is far too great to limit ourselves to one sexual partner in our lives. It can become painful for a man to hold in his cum for days on end. Now for a woman we release one egg only once a month (ovulation) its much easier for us to go days with out sex as we don’t have as much as a need to release as men do.
It’s very easy for a man to have absolutely no intimate or emotional ties with a woman. Men are generally more likely than women to be able to compartmentalize sex and intimate connections. For many men, sex is sex, and relationships are relationships, and the two do not necessarily need to overlap. When women cheat, there is usually an element of romance, intimacy, connection or love. Men on the other hand cheat to satisfy sexual urges. Hence why it is easier for women to forgive their partners more so, than men forgiving a woman. Many men that cheat have no intentions on leaving their partners, they simply are committing infidelity which they see as a opportunistic, primarily sexual action, that in their minds has nothing to with their primary relationship.
Now..... with all that being said. What you and your partner decide is right for you all up front, should be abided by. Trust and dishonesty is where we go wrong. If you all agree upon a monogamous relationship, that's what needs to happen. If one partner goes behind another partner's back and commits betrayal they should be dealt with accordingly. If you and your partner decided that a polygamous relationship will be better for you all, then do that! Fuck Society. Its all about communication and being honest!!! If you can be open with your partner and set boundaries the sky is the limit for the relationship.
I would bet my life that the majority of couples that have been married over 30 years have experienced infidelity one time or another, because again it simply is an unnatural act for us humans.